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Ok so, you go through each day remembering yesterday, wondering about tomorrow, forgetting last year. I forgot that I was reading Pema Chodron last year. Why did I stop? The illness and death of a friend caused/is causing such an upheaval.

"A warrior begins to take responsibility for the direction of her life." Pema Chodron

"The essence of bravery is being without self-deception." Pema Chodron

Oh god but what happens when you just don't know you are caught up in self-deception? and what happens if you think you know your direction but you are going the wrong way? Is there a wrong way?

This journey of grief is a stormy and muddy way. I want the blue skies and the sunshine but the tears continue to flow. And if the truth can be told, really, I never want the tears to stop. I want to cry and cry and cry.