Check out Sarah Chayes

Sarah Chayes is the daughter of law professor and Kennedy administration member Abram Chayes, and is of Jewish heritage. She graduated from Phillips Academy, Andover, in 1980, and Harvard University in 1984, with a degree in history. She later served in the Peace Corps in Morocco, returning to Harvard to earn a master's degree in history and Middle Eastern studies, specializing in the medieval Islamic period.
She has lived in Kandahar, Afghanistan since 2002. Having learned to speak the Pashto language, she has helped rebuild homes, set up a dairy cooperative. In May 2005, she established the Arghand Cooperative, a venture that encourages local Afghan farmers to produce flowers, fruits, and herbs instead of opium poppies, by buying their products and producing soaps and other scented products from them for export. She now works as Special Advisor to General McCrystal of the U.S. Military.

She works for the military because she finds them to be public-spirited in Afghanistan, ie, the military cares. But I mean i heard her speak on The Rachel Maddow show and I could not help thinking - here is an incredibly smart woman living out her convictions -- making a difference -- living in the middle of her life -- that is where I am again -- I am finding the center, I no longer want to be on the outskirts, the fringe. I want to be in the center -- of my own life, of this life, of my world, our world. Where are you?

Curve Ball

ok so I have been thrown a curveball. Just when you think things are getting up to speed, just when you think you have gained momentum, boom, you get a curveball and you find yourself telling yourself - just put one foot in front of the other. It's not easy, even when it's inevitable, even when the curveball is really a relief, in fact, you wanted it, you invited it. Okay so I have worked with this guy for a bunch of years. He is my employee. He has advised me that he has been offered another position and he is leaving. This is a basic fact of life. People come and go - especially in business settings. When I think of the law firm I worked at years ago - we used to joke about it being a revolving door. But I am not like that. I am invested. I have a personal investment but I am cool, professional, cool and professional at all costs...but I feel ready to pop. It's not easy - feeling uprooted --- but it makes me realize that my family is where I belong, not a work situation, not an office, not where I make my living, in fact, even in the best of circumstances, even in the best working environment, that is exactly what it is - a working environment, it is where I make a living, not where I live, not where I exist, no, I exist within myself and within the hearts and home of those I love - in my family. I will go within myself and my home to find my strength, to find myself.

Corruption

The corruption charges in New Jersey just prove that greed rules for so many people. Greed transgresses virtually all societal segments -- religion, politics, business, family. Why would you ruin your life? For money laundering, for 10% of a couple of hundred thousand dollars. Oh I have had my share of transgressions and I have suffered from financial insecurity. I have asked, will I be free from this? Free from anxiety about money, eating, weight, relentless self-consciousness? And I have been told, "It takes discipline." I believe that.

Neighborhood

Today I was at a meeting where a guy was talking about how the natural inclination of humans is to be in tribes or clans. I was glad to hear this as I often wonder why people seem to like so much to gather, ie parties, beach gatherings, all variations of social scenes. I am a loner at heart and so this tribal instinct is difficult to understand. But for me, it is a matter of coming into some kind of synchronicity with myself. For when I feel confident or just plan okay with myself, then I really have a good time with other people and I actually enjoy myself. This evening I went down to the beach to hang with the neighbors. We are really like extended family with one another, helping each other to bring up our children, gathering to celebrate births, birthdays, holidays, and even grieving together. I am in a good place today. How are you doing?

Diane von Furstenberg at 62

Ok I found it. I could not figure out who to write about. Sonia again? Michele Obama on health care? Hilary Rodham Clinton hanging around India with Mr. Tata? No. Here we go. "At 62, [Diane von Furstenberg] has seen her business skyrocket in the 1970s, crash in the '80s and, unpredictably, thrive today." NY Times 7/19/09. "It's more important than ever to have confidence," says Ms. von Furstenberg. Everyone else is insecure. It you start to take a little bit of everyone else's insecurity -- forget it." Did you hear that? CONFIDENCE. There is no reason not to have it. Not old stuff. Not guilt. Not childhood blues. Just go forward as if you are on a hike that is unexpectedly difficult but you know you can make it one step at a time. It doesn't matter if your feet are killing you and your legs are aching, or that you have to scoot on your ass down the ledge you come across. You are going to do it. And finally, you end up in the parking lot and there's your car! You did it. You can have this experience every day. You can. More on Diane? Ok. Well, she's not hiking. For her? "It's like we are on a surfing board in the middle of a tsunami," she says. "It just so happens that I'm surfing a good wave now. But that doesn't mean I can't fall." And what about that? What about the wipeout? "Failure makes you a better person and a better executive," says Ronald Frasch, president and chief merchandising officer at Saks. "And when [Diane von Furstenberg] came back, she catapulted."  So, all of you out there, whether it's life, business, a project, a relationship, we can catapult. We might fail, we might fall, but we can come back stronger, more confident, better. (Oh yeah and that is me in the photo - hiking up Mt. Alander in Massachusetts.) 

References to Diane von Furstenberg and quotes are as reported in the New York Times Sunday Business section 7/19/09

"...Your destiny is in your hands..."

"Your destiny is in your hands -- you cannot forget that. That's what we have to teach all of our children. No excuses. No excuses." Barack Obama in his speech yesterday to the NAACP

Our destinies are in our hands. We can make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. We have to go within to find the god strength, mother god or father god, or spirit of your choice, go within, in order to then go outside yourself. I have to go outside of myself and be loving and actually love, and be useful to others. Yes, useful. It comes back to us, like karma, and our destinies (in our own god-filled hands) are enriched, made stronger, enlivened

Don't Listen to Pat Buchanan

Well, if you do listen to him, just listen to increase your knowledge base but if you do, see the folly in all he says. He is hypocritically stating that race, emphasize RACE, should not matter in the choice of Supreme Court justice, while he, in fact is emphasizing race and affirmative action. Rachel Maddow is right in telling him that he is absolutely wrong.

PS. Do something creative. I played the guitar tonight.

1. It Took Me All Week; and 2. Sonia Sotomayor

First of all, it took me all week to get focused. Not Monday, not Tuesday, not Wednesday, but finally on Thursday, it happened. I was on my game. What do you do on those days when you are not. I tell myself to just put one foot in front of the other. I try not to shop too much as I don't want to give in to quick fixes. I stay with it. Phrase for the day: Stay with it. With what? Life. We are in it so we might as well as live it. Look at Sonia Sotomayor. She is totally living her life. She is right in the middle of it. Right in the thick of it. Staying focused. Wearing the right outfits. Staying true to herself. So what if she did not remember the episodes of Perry Mason where he lost a case. Even thought she said that was her favorite childhood tv show. Leave it to Al Francken to ask that question. But really, Al did a good job for just being a week on the job as Senator. he looked fairly senatorial as well. But most importantly, Sonia Sotomayor was on her game. Take a look and be inspired.

What Helps?

What Helps? Sticking out the bad moods and not acting out. Taking deep breaths. Exercise. Prayer (but not prayer cells). Crisis management. And I mean management, not freaking out. Staying calm, focusing when you really think it is impossible to focus. Realizing that the upswing follows the downturn. This goes for everything - from the economy to your daily moods. Everything. So, also, watch some news programs and get educated. I have been listening to Rachel Maddox about Congressman Wamp and the C Street "Family" and the prayer cells, those secretive politicians. If we don't expose these groups, we are condoning political madness, what if these guys get together and decide to turn the country into a theocracy?? Not good. It's not good. Thank you, Rachel Maddow for keeping us informed. The Family must disband. No secretive prayer cells in government. And no secretive CIA hit squads either. I have been asked to get into politics but I just can't. I would rather see my children through their teen years and focus on my law practice.

It's not always all it's cracked up to be

Well okay, it's not always all it's cracked up to me. Positive yesterday. Struggling with the mood today. The Launch thing was just okay. I did give out a bunch of cards and got a chance to say what I am doing so all was not lost. But the day itself got off to a rocky start. Nothing eventful. I got up. I exercised. I ate breakfast. I showered and got dressed, I took my kids and another kid to lacrosse camp. Boring, right? Except when I admit that i could hardly contain my anger - rage even - when I saw my neighbors in their tennis whites and their kid was late coming out. I was like, why am I driving these kids to camp when I am the only one going off to work?? I was driving aggresively and my son told me I should calm down. What a mess I am sometimes. Like a walking sitcom. It is really kind of funny. Me storming around over nothing, telling myself I am grateful I have children, I love my children, etc etc. So I was going to just go home and forget about the shindig this evening. Would love to go home and get into my jammies but no, push ahead. I will go. I might only stay a half hour but I will go. Sometimes you have those days when you just have to put one foot in front of the other. Peace

Ladies Who Launch

I actually decided to do another thing tomorrow. I am going to a Ladies Who Launch event at a local restaurant focusing on time and organization. Can't hurt, right? I am going to bring a pile of cards, say hi, look professional and get my name out there just that much more. That will be two business developments in one day. The more I do, the easier it is. Really.

It's Monday Morning

Organize yourself. Check messages on your phone. Check email. Make a to do list. Work and personal. Be realistic on what you can accomplish today. Make a plan to do one business development activity this week. I am going on Tuesday evening to the first gathering of a group i recently joined. It is a gay alumni group from Fairfield Univeristy and it will be held at the organizer's home in Westport, CT. His name is Matt Faber. I am actually looking forward to it. Every gathering is an opportunity - to make new friends, to be visible, to engage with people, to engage with life. Word for the day: Engage!